Fear

       The fear of every living is the death.. In fact, for some people it's a taboo. Some people believe talking about death brings you even closer to it. I fear death. 'Fear' is too mild a word. I don't fear my death for i won't be able to 'experience' anything after my death. But my biggest fear in life is losing the people i love most in my life. I have so many beautiful people in my life who add colours to my life. The mere thought of losing my dear ones, kills me. As a kid i never thought about death. But after witnessing the death of a family member i realised what it feels like to lose someone close to you. That's when i started praying for my dear ones. Every day and night, i pray for their well-being and safety. In fact, when it was time for me to settle down i told my mother i didn't want to get married because getting married means i have to now worry about one more person in my life. And then, i'll have to pray for the safety of my parents, siblings, husband, children and the list goes on. It's like you are constantly in war with death for the sake of your loved ones all your life.

      Few weeks ago i lost my cousin. He was just 22. He was a student who was eagerly waiting to complete his degree and get a job and live the life. I still remember our last meeting and how he had always been a live wire. He was very active in FB that i used to get updates from him almost on daily basis. And what a coincidence, his last post was "life is short". Indeed it is :( I still check his FB hoping to see an update from him.

     And moments ago, one of my ex-students passed away in an accident. He was 19. Another active 'facebooker', his last post was " Travelling by bike after so long. May God bless my journey". And alas, he never reached his destination. It is true that life is very thrilling for you never know what might happen next. But life is also cruel. Every second of my life doesn't belong to me. It's like you are temporarily on the earth before reaching your destination which is elsewhere. People come and go, end of the day it's you that have to live your life whether you like it or not.