Happy Mother's Day

My mum and I are not great friends. We don’t share a lot of common ground. She is an outdoor person while I am more to the indoor type. She is quick and I am slow. She is predictable and I am sophisticated. She is fair and I’m brown. But she is my MUM and I’m PROUD of that.

When I was a small kid I used to be really really stubborn and people couldn’t put up with that. My mum and I could never get along and till now I am wondering about the reason. I was more close to my dad and literally mum was like an enemy to me that I could not listen to her. While my brother and sister occasionally did get their fair share of scolding and beating, I always made my worse by being ‘laser’ with my mum. I raise my voice when she raises hers; I hold her hand when she tries to hold mine. I was just completely aggressive with her. I used to wait at the aisle of the house waiting for my dad to come back from work so that I can complain to him and being dear father he would scold my mum. I secretly enjoyed it. I always accused her being partial to her own children though I have no idea on the rationale for that.

As I moved to primary school, I tamed a little bit as I was busy with my studies. My mum is not a well educated lady but she knows the importance of education. She started teaching us the basics at the tender age of 3 or 4 but never robbed us off our childhood in the name of education. I wonder if I could do that with my children. She could not help much with our education when we moved to standard 3 onwards due to her limited education. But her routine was imprinted in us that we never waited for her instructions to study. It came automatically thanks to my mum.

When I was in standard 6 and the UPSR results were announced, I scored 1D and could not accept that and refused to go back home. My mum was called to school and the moment she looked at me crying, she couldn’t bear and started crying. None of us said anything but the silence and the tears consoled me. Then, weeks after I was told there had been a mistake and was given 7 A’s. Again, my mum didn’t say much. She just hugged me and kissed me. She was never verbally expressive yet I understood her gesture.

When I moved to secondary school, and sailed through the teenage years of pimples and mood swings, I was never very close with my mum. I always felt my friends were closer to their mums compared with us. But we were never distanced also as we did talk and hang out together. I was so busy with my studies, tuitions; competitions whereas she was busy with her little farm and house chores.

I was 18 when I moved out from my home to further my studies in KL. I still remember the day my mum and dad brought me to register in the college. When it was time to leave, I saw tears welling in her eyes and I was quick to make some stupid jokes. She smiled, still with her tears. She hugged, kissed me and left crying. That’s when our special bond started. Suddenly I found myself very much attached to my mum. During weekends, whenever I was home, we talked a lot; we gossiped. Sometimes, I just lie on her lap with no words exchanged between us but still felt that some form of communication.

When I went to Sydney a year ago, I would call home and talk for hours with my mum which is something that I would not have thought of doing. I have become more understanding and rarely yell at her. I have started appreciating her and reduced complaining about her.

Even now, at times I am annoyed when she confuses my birthday with my sister’s; when she forgets to wish me during my exam; when she forgets things that I deem important for me; when she forgets our semester holidays. Sometimes, I ask her “What kind of mum are you amma since you can’t remember important things about us?”. And she shrugs saying “ I don’t know. I am very dumb. I can’t remember anything but the utmost important thing is I raised all my three kids into three diamonds”. That’s my mum. She is the most unconventional mum I know and the best too. I love you Amma and Happy Mother’s Day Amma.


p/s- I am supposed to post this 2 days ago but no thanks to my internet connection i'm just uploading it now.