2008 A recap- January

This is my second post in 24 hours. Today is 1st December and i as i have promised i wanted to start the recap of 2008 today as in another 30 days we will be welcoming 2009 with new anticipation and beaming hopes and believe me 30 days will disappear in a flickering moment. 11 months has flown away, numerous hours have passed by and lots of memories have elapsed but it's still hard to accept that we are bidding goodbye to 2008. I have stopped pondering over my new year resolution few years ago when i realised that i have been having the same resolution for years in vain. It has just become a plain boring thing for me. My new year resolution has been "no resolution" for few years now.

Everything seems so fresh and still feels like yesterday but one year has passed. Every minute is a lesson and bears some values to be learnt, and pondering over memories of 1 year is not an easy job.January 2008 started well for me as i was still in Malaysia with my family enjoying every bit and each moment before flying back to Sydney. One profound lesson or experience that i had at that time was learning to forgive people. I was and still am (though i have shed most of it) a person who forgives but never forgets and at times neither forgive nor forget. I had a subtle conflict with a person for very long time. Till now i believe that person had never knew that i was angry at him/her. But i had such a hatred towards the person and believed that person does not deserve my respect and had always ignored him/her completely. Whenever i looked at the person, i had the image of his/her deed which angered me endlessly. That strained my relationship with others too. So, after the endless cajoling and persuasion by my parents, i braced myself to face what i had been evading for long.

I diminished the invisible wall between us and tried to let myself loose. But it was hard as once you lose the trust on someone it's so hard to rebuild and that was what i was facing. But that person, won me over with his/her casualty and care. Someone for whom i had so much of hatred and disrespect cared so much for me and showed me that mistakes are quintessential human elements because 'to err is human'. An apology was never something that i expected from the person and he/she never did. But, the care that i received from the person compensated that. And miraculously, i found myself being less harsh on him/her and actually allowed the person into my circle. Though, at one corner of my heart it was telling me "he/she is merely compensating his/her mistake so don't trust him/her completely", i took the risk of giving a second chance. Since, i am person who despite forgiving people, bears some kind of hatred it was hard for me not to think about the past whenever the person talked to me. But , i did it.

I learned that humans makes mistakes and i'm in no position of reprimanding anyone as i'm no perfect either. I learned that by forgiving and forgetting ,the circle of happiness around you expands. You feel good when you forgive people and that feelings transfer to those around you and oozes some positive feelings and enable you to look at life without inhibitions. Thanks January!