Goodbye 2008

This post is dedicated to 2008 which has brought so many sweet memories along with some bitter moments. Whatever it is, zillion thanks to 2008 which arrived in style and is bidding farewell in style albeit some bitter and sulky moments globally as well as personally. I’m not going to talk about the international aspect as I know I’m no good at that. On a personal front, I think I managed to waltz through 2008 despite some belittle moments. It would have been a pretty boring year had everything went too smoothly. Bad memories and failures teach us some valuable lessons which ought to be kept in mind to welcome the following year. Ok enough of rattling about that, in this post I would like to ‘talk’ about the Top 10 of 2008. It’s not an easy task to pick 10 memories but I have tried.

Sweet memories of 2008
First complete family visit to our ‘favourite’ temple – The temple in Pangkor Island is our favourite temple and we have been going there annually. But for past few years, we couldn’t visit the temple as a whole family due to our academic commitments. And finally, we managed to gather as a family after few years and certainly that’s a treat
Being home- is there one thing that can beat the feeling of being home?
Vacation in New Zealand – Fantabulous 10 days which gave me immense fulfilment.
Bungee jump - Quenched my adrenalin rush. The most memorable moment in my life where I screamed my lungs out. Would I do it again? Hmm why not!!
Reuniting with my brother after 3 years
Fun-filled Gold Coast Trip- Fantastic stomach churning rides
Deepavali Celebration in Sydney- the very first time I was involved in the nitty-gritty of Deepavali celebration
Started blogging
Buying my first camera with my own money
My recently announced results

Bitter/ not-so-good memories of 2008
I cannot really remember 10 bitter memories to write about. After squeezing my tiny brain and rewinding whole 2008 mentally, there are just a handful of things I can remember.
1. Losing my favourite hand phone- I still have not forgive the innocent looking cab driver who sweet talked me and ‘took’ my phone. I still remember you Mr. Driver!
2. Bidding goodbye to Sydney
3. Tiny conflict I had (no more) with my bestie
4. Being trapped with annoying relationships
Hmm, my tiny brain can’t think of anything else..it’s shutting down. I better move to the next one.

Top 10 movies that I enjoyed in 2008
1. Dark knight
2. Santosh Subramaniam
3. Taare Zameen Par
4. Vaaranam Aayiram
5. Yaaradi Nee Mohini
6. Jaane Tu Na Jaane Na
7. Sex and the City
8. Jodha Akbar
9. Kalloori
10. Jab We Met

Top 10 songs
1. Kankal Irandal (Subramaniapuram)
2. Yeppadi iruntha (Santosh Subramaniam)
3. Mundhinam Paarthene (VA)
4. Unakkena Naan (Kadhalil vizhunthen)
5. Love or Label (Sex and the City)
6. Umbrella (Rihanna)
7. Taare Zameen Par
8. Jash-En-Bahara
9. Kabhi Kabhi Aditi (Jaane tu..)
10. Marudhani (Sakkarakkatti)

Ok. My analysis ends here. Advance Happy New Year to all my blog readers. Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead and may god bless all.

RANDOM 2

I’m getting bored with the routine life style. Nothing new to see, nothing new to experience, nothing new to blog about. I wonder how some people could kill a day by just sitting still in a corner for a whole day. Sitting (or standing) somewhere for few hours alone, could drive me crazy. Life could be pretty boring when you know what comes next. Doing the monotonous routines is just plain boring. And I think I badly need to diversify my daily routines or else I’ll die of either boredom or excessive sleep (No..SunTv is not helping at all).

On a random note, few days ago I chanced into someone and the meeting has triggered a lot of thoughts. Sometimes, we run away from the reality and handle things wrongly thinking we are doing the right thing. When problems or issues hit us, and we are stuck in a muddle, pushing everything under the carpet is not going to help in anyway. Thinking people will change automatically as the years rolls in is not the best option. Time does heal things and changes some things. But not everything. There are certain things that never change and remain the same. And also some people who refuse to change and comes back haunting you again and again. Puzzled? Me too :p

Random

Wishing you all a very Happy Thirukaartigai. Hope your houses are shining bright too.

I have been suffering from poor internet connection for past few days and that explains my absence from the blogworld. But still, I’m an internet addict and the poor TMNET (my net provider) doesn’t know that I’ll survive this. Nothing can stop me from torturing others through my writing :p

Things are moving slowly and as I’m back home, I’m not really going anywhere and thus nothing much to blog about. Yet, me being myself, I do have something to rattle about. Be prepared!

The nature of today’s kids amazes me to the core. Kids of today are very bold and beautiful…no..not that one…they are bold and extremely garrulous! Gone are the days where you admire the talkativeness of small children and going gaga over their cute inimitable vocabulary. I have been in few awkward instances where the child says some inappropriate remarks and you wish you can sink through the floor or be invisible. Sometimes some kids talk way too much and all you can do is secretly wishing to stuff a sock inside their mouth. Some kids are complainers who report every single thing you say to others especially to the person who is the butt of the joke! I had such an awkward moment years ago. I was visiting someone and was staying in her place for few days. And on one fine day, she decided to leave her children with me as she had to go somewhere. Though, I knew I was making a graveyard mistake by agreeing, I went along with the idea. “Come on, after all they are just small kids and I’m a teacher to be. Handling three kids is not a big task”. That was what I was thinking at that moment. The very moment she left, her children’s atrocious behaviours unveiled and I was screaming my lungs out. Literally, I was running after the kids and at one point, I gave up and started shouting at them. And you know angry people, words were shooting out and I didn’t realise that I actually said “ you kids are terrible and that’s the reason I’m not coming to your house often. And after this, I’m not coming at all”. And yeah..they parroted that back to their mum when she came back and thank GOD she just smiled and said “that’s true” (God knows whether she really meant that). And I escaped the next day. Something similar happened yesterday (yeah, I’ll never learn my lesson). So the conclusion is some kids are terrible!

Home Sweet Home

After a short sabbatical I’m back, blogging from Malaysia, place called home. It’s good to know that things haven’t changed much. Everything and everyone is still the same and that gives a sense of belonging and sense of being home. It’s incredibly feels good to unite with my siblings as we were away from each other for 3.5 long years and the constant quarrellings, diggings and pick ons are still there. It’s good to know that the 3 years gap has not stolen anything from us and it feels like we were not away from each other at all. The 3 (used to be small) notorious kids are back and so does the headache my parents :p

Another thing that remains the same is the NEVER-ENDING-SERIALS! I feel like I did not miss out any of the serials as they progressed too little in these years. One-woman-too –many –problems concept is still ruling our televisions and thanks to them, the glycerin industry is much healthier nowadays. You need not to worry if you don’t have any prior knowledge about the serial as you do not need one and please leave your common sense elsewhere. And up to now, I’m still getting confused with the serial actors and the characters they play. Imagine seeing one actor in three different serials with the same get-ups ( no.. the moustache and mole do not help much!). Ok, Vasantham serial is starting and I got to go now ;-)

Goodbye Sydney

This is my last blog from the land of kangaroo. In less than 36 hours, i'll be home. My flight is scheduled on the 6th at 3.30pm. 8 long hours and i'll be in Malaysia in the arms of my parents who are awaiting my arrival. Though, saying goodbye to Sydney is indeed very hard but Malaysia is my home and that feeling is incredible. As they say, home is where the heart is. I can't believe 2 years have gone and i'm stepping into the second phase of my life with new challenges unveiling as the life unfolds. By end of 2009, i will be a professional, a working lady, something which i have been dreading like nothing. The responsibilities seems immense to be shouldered and sometimes future seems too bleak. Whatever it is, these two years has matured me and has expanded my perspective and i must say that i'm a changed person now both physically ( i have gained few kilos) and mentally and it could be hard for my past to accept this new me but that's life. Change is the most constant thing in life and i'm game for it. My only concern for now is that, my changes for not affecting those dear to me and at the same time, for me not to be pulled back into my past and also not to discard whatever positive changes that Sydney has given me upon arriving home.

Have you ever craved for crystal ball which foresees your future? I have. I have always been curious on what is stored for me in future. May be that's why i used to subscribe to the online astrology and horoscope readings :-) But, at the second thought, do i really want to know my future? Would i be happy if i'm given the crystal ball? well, now the answer is NO. I rather wait for the surprises that life is going to throw at me. It doesn't matter if they aren't sweet surprises. Life is not a smooth journey and travelling on a bumpy road keeps you awake though that hurts. And knowing what's awaiting you in the future is no fun. So, if YOU ever planned to give me the crystal ball,Umm.. keep it to youself MR.GOD. I rather swim across the sea but just give me guidance whenever the sharks appear.

P/S- I just came across this wonderful piece by A.r.Rahman and it has been haunting me for few days now :-)

2008 A recap- January

This is my second post in 24 hours. Today is 1st December and i as i have promised i wanted to start the recap of 2008 today as in another 30 days we will be welcoming 2009 with new anticipation and beaming hopes and believe me 30 days will disappear in a flickering moment. 11 months has flown away, numerous hours have passed by and lots of memories have elapsed but it's still hard to accept that we are bidding goodbye to 2008. I have stopped pondering over my new year resolution few years ago when i realised that i have been having the same resolution for years in vain. It has just become a plain boring thing for me. My new year resolution has been "no resolution" for few years now.

Everything seems so fresh and still feels like yesterday but one year has passed. Every minute is a lesson and bears some values to be learnt, and pondering over memories of 1 year is not an easy job.January 2008 started well for me as i was still in Malaysia with my family enjoying every bit and each moment before flying back to Sydney. One profound lesson or experience that i had at that time was learning to forgive people. I was and still am (though i have shed most of it) a person who forgives but never forgets and at times neither forgive nor forget. I had a subtle conflict with a person for very long time. Till now i believe that person had never knew that i was angry at him/her. But i had such a hatred towards the person and believed that person does not deserve my respect and had always ignored him/her completely. Whenever i looked at the person, i had the image of his/her deed which angered me endlessly. That strained my relationship with others too. So, after the endless cajoling and persuasion by my parents, i braced myself to face what i had been evading for long.

I diminished the invisible wall between us and tried to let myself loose. But it was hard as once you lose the trust on someone it's so hard to rebuild and that was what i was facing. But that person, won me over with his/her casualty and care. Someone for whom i had so much of hatred and disrespect cared so much for me and showed me that mistakes are quintessential human elements because 'to err is human'. An apology was never something that i expected from the person and he/she never did. But, the care that i received from the person compensated that. And miraculously, i found myself being less harsh on him/her and actually allowed the person into my circle. Though, at one corner of my heart it was telling me "he/she is merely compensating his/her mistake so don't trust him/her completely", i took the risk of giving a second chance. Since, i am person who despite forgiving people, bears some kind of hatred it was hard for me not to think about the past whenever the person talked to me. But , i did it.

I learned that humans makes mistakes and i'm in no position of reprimanding anyone as i'm no perfect either. I learned that by forgiving and forgetting ,the circle of happiness around you expands. You feel good when you forgive people and that feelings transfer to those around you and oozes some positive feelings and enable you to look at life without inhibitions. Thanks January!

Goodbye Sambal

I just came back from the farewell dinner at Sambal, my workplace which i have mentioned in previous post. The bosses wanted to give us (the Malaysian students who have worked there for almost 1.5 years) a farewell dinner. So as usual, i had a stomach-filling steamboat dinner (i couldn't take the pictures as i was busy attacking the food) and had a fun filled photo-session. Then, we were supposed to hit city for a karaoke night, but we decided to sabotage that session and all the girls decided to call it a day. That surely broke the guys' hearts as they were expecting us to 'cheer' them during their karaoke session.

Then , my lady boss was supposed to drive us back but midway she decided to bring us for the famous pancake house and am i an idiot to resist a delicious treat? So we popped in and helped ourselves with some desserts. This time, i managed to click them and feel free to 'enjoy'. :p

Hunting for Books

Unlike the usual 'fitting room involved' shopping, yesterday i did some book shopping. I WAS an avid book reader till i was hit by the blog bug. Now all that i read is people's blogs (i know that's a form of reading too. In fact, prying into real people's real lives could be more appealing at times). So, it's pathetic to know that i'm on my 8th book now and we'll be bidding goodbye to 2008 in a month time.

Since, books in Malaysia are quite expensive (whoever said knowledge is the most valuable...) and i bet i have better collection than my collage library (ok, well that's kind of exaggerated but still the same books have been the permanent residents of the library and there seems no admission for new books), i decided to buy more books from here as there are more second-hand book shops (Had it been clothes shopping i wouldn't even have stood in front of a second-hand shop :p. That's among the unwritten rules laid for shopping.). So after few hours of walking here and there and messing up few shops, i managed to get these three books due to the limited budget and also limited space in my luggage bag.
I haven't read any of Marian's book but have always wanted to. So this time, i bought two of her books and planning to expand my collection buying more of her books once i'm back in Malaysia. And hopefully,these books can keep me company for my coming 1 month holiday.

P/S- For my dear Blog friends, since we are nearing the end of 2008, it's my humble suggestion that we should capture some of the meaningful moments and incidents happened throughout 2008 in our coming blogs. May be , we can learn something from each other's victories and defeats. Thank you

Another Long Day

Christmas is just around the corner and the Australian Streets are donning the celebration gown. Christmas trees and eye-captivating colourful decorations are the welcoming sight one can see upon entering Sydney. So, since the weather was permitting, yesterday i went to the city again to say goodbye to some of my favourite places and also to complete my last-minute shopping ( having a friend whose shopping list goes from north pole to south pole certainly doesn't help much). I have always been fascinated by the churches in Oz especially the one above for it's unique structure, carvings and grandeur but never got the chance to enter. But by God's Grace, yesterday i had the chance to enter the church and what do i say? It was breath-takingly beautiful and the church was enfolded in such serenity which is a delight for the senses. Since prayers was going on in the church, i didn't click anything but just stood there capturing them with my naked eyes.

Once we came out, i was helping my friend to take a picture of the church, when a Spanish lady offered to take our picture together. The most striking thing that i have noticed in Oz is that people are so eager to help you even without you asking them. All you have to do is, wear a destitute look and move your camera here and there and i bet there'll be someone offering to take your picture. Sometimes, they do have some selfish reasons, as once they have clicked your picture, they will hand in their cameras to you (Yeah cameraS) and it's your turn to repay their 'gratitude'. But this particular lady just amazed me. I have seen so many tourists who are not fluent in English who just rely heavily on sign languages and limited vocabs such as 'photo' and 'thanks'. But this lady came to us and started speaking in Spanish and took my camera (No she wasn't stealing my camera...she wanted to click us together). And i'm pretty sure i don't look like a Spanish (with my 'pottu' and what-the -hell-are -you-saying look). But she didn't bother about that. So, i just took advantage of the opportunity and posed for a picture. Then, as usual she took out her camera and started saying yadda-yadda and there i was puzzled and wondering whether that was her first day coming out of Spain and that she still believes that every human on earth speaks Spanish or at least understands Spanish. The most hilarious thing was that she had a group of friends and apparently she wanted all of them to pose with her but they were saying something and she looked at me and started explaining the whole situation with her complete facial expressions and gestures and loosely translated "oh, don't worry about this nonsense people. They can't value your photographic skills. Let me be the luckiest one and snap me, gorgeous". And all i could say at the moment was " Oh YEah! Ha..Ha..He..He.. and ( I hope you said something funny)". As i clicked, finally she said "THANK YOU". It's ENGLISH. Hurray!!

Then after hitting each shops and changing rooms, and attacking appetizing pancakes it was time to return home. And the traffic was not being good to us either as there was a horrible accident near the Harbour bridge and we were stuck there for 1 hr. The bus wasn't moving an inch and the bus was dead silent. Have you ever initiated a conversation with your fellow traveller in buses or trains? i have never done that. And as i was sitting in the deadly silent bus, i realised some were pre-occupied with worldly thoughts (i hope), some fidgeting and some were 'i-pod'-ing and some were sleeping (including me). There were only two souls in the bus sitting behind me took advantage of the situation forming a new friendship and sharing thoughts ( yeah i was eaves-dropping with my half-closed eyes..come on that's human nature). Are we so engrossed in our world that we don't have time to foster new friendships? or are we simply ignorants?

The Art that I'm yet to Master

Decision making is an art and i'm afraid i 'll need many more years and maturity to master the art. My heart yearns for those blithesome tender years where all i had to worry about was going to school and performing well in exams . And the most difficult decision that i had ever taken at that time was limited to choosing an outfit (even that was 'helped' by my parents). How i wish Peter Pan can bring me to his world...free from adults, adulthood decisions and heartache yielding from that. I miss those tender ages where i was just a carefree little girl. My shoulders were lighter, my mind was free and thought of future was never significant. I didn't have to wake up feeling miserable, hating the day awaiting me, and cursing the dawn. How i wish i can run into my mum's arms at the very sight of problems and confusions.

I have always tried avoiding making decisions as at times your decisions can affect other people around you unintentionally and i don't want to be the cause for someone's heartache. But sometimes, it's inevitable. As much as i want to care for others' feelings, i have my feelings which need to be given utmost importance (i don't mind being selfish) too. So, for the affected soul(s) outside there, i never meant to hurt you people and i was pushed to the limit. And it's more disappointing when people refuse to see the rational of the decision. One man's food is another man's poison . If it's good for you not necessarily it's good for me. And i choose to be what I am voluntarily and i am happy leading my life in my way though that does not make sense for you.Well, it's my life and i decide on what i want to do with that.

One Loooong day

The picture is below in case you are wondering :p

I'm seriously up to my neck in packing. I think packing stuff especially sorting the stuff which deserves to be in the luggage bag and stuff which goes into the bin is the uphill task. The moment something lands in the bin, you envision the struggle you had in the fitting room, the tiresome walk you had in the quest of 'finding the one' , the kgs you lost in order to fit into the dress and then there you go, shoving that back into your already-pregnant-and waiting-to-burst bag. My only hope now is that i get my bag in one piece after the shipping.

With the neck deep packing task, i still had time to visit some places. I have been wanting to go to this temple for long but never really got time to do so. So, yesterday when finally the sky cleared and the sun came out shining some (SOME ONLY) light on us, we decided to make use of it and complete our long pending desire. I have never been to a Venkadasalabati (hope it's correct) temple and i have heard a lot about this temple in Helensburgh. So left around 7am and arrived there at 10.30 (it's not 3.5 hrs journey. It's our sense of time and punctuality). The temple was so gorgeous but the only problem was that it was so huge that we were confused where to start. I think we were the only people who stood in front of the temple discussing where to start from. After a long discussion (really it was long..and the pujari was keep on looking at us from far wondering whether we are the latest terrorists to join the temple-bombing bandwagon), we started praying. The only thing in my mind at that point of time was that the pujari. No..not that he was so handsome that i forgot to look at the handsomer Mr.VENKATASALABATHI,it was just that i was so pre-occupied that the pujari would comment on the way i was praying as everything was scattered around and i am so used to praying from one God to another. Once, we were done we had second discussion "Is this the right temple? If it is then where is Mr. Venkatasalabathi? Is it possible not to have a Venkatasalabathi in His temple?". However that thought wasn't as disturbing as the other thought. "Pujari said there is Prasadham. So, where is it?";P. So in the quest of finding the Prasadham we found the 'real' temple. Mr. Venkat was 'residing' in the 'block' behind the main temple (apparently that wasn't the main temple). So, i was so excited of seeing Him and also the prasadham;-). So here are some of the pictures

After the temple, we decided to visit Wollongong, a coastal are somewhere near the temple. That was another long journey and as usual we did a lot walking there and landed in the beach where we had heaps of fun. As all of you know, me being a Kollywood and Bollywood buff managed to perform some Bollywood moments at the beach..without a hero which was the saddest part. And i bet those onlookers would have thought "poor girls, first time discovering sea and sand!". Who cares? It's a beach! Here are some of those moments

P/S-Before i get back to the packing, for those who have a vast knowledge on Tamil situation songs, do you know what's the song people usually sing before they push another person off a hill? According to my friend there is an old song where the hero (she says it's either Sivaji or MGR which i strongly disagree because they don't push/kill people..they are HEROES) pushes someone off from the 'malai' (hill). I said it's Male..male maruthamale song. But she is not agreeing:p

I Have a Dream

Yup, today my time capsule moves forward unlike the previous one . This time i just want to share some of my dreams or should i say merely figments of imagination ? ( no..not the ala paruthiveeran's dream of spending a night in central jail..mine are worser). Those dreams could be a castle in the air but come on what's there to lose? Dreaming comes at no cost and that's why i could just face an empty wall and muse for hours. So, as a result of staring at the empty wall, some ideas have flowed in and i better capture them in words before they sink through the wall again. I have the tendency to change my dreams every now and then. (Numbering has nothing to do with the rank! It's just that i love numbers but not in maths!)

1) I love to own either a boat house or a tiny hut (must have at least 3 rooms..he..he) in alps area. And there shouldn't be anybody around (don't ask me common sense questions as from where i'll get my food stuff, paper..etc..etc..remember this is just a dream). About the boat house it's fully inspired by Kaaka Kaaka.I just loved that house (Note i didn't say SURYA).The fact that i can't swim does not matter :p

2) I have been planning for a family vacation for quite sometime now. But the fact that all of us are scattered around doesn't help much. But by end of 2009, i should be able to bring my family for at least 2 days vacation in Langkawi( Bring means persuading them..not financially supporting the vacation)..Appa irukka bayam yen (What to worry when your dad is there). If only my dad happens to see this, he would ask me to delay my return flight...

3) I have a sublime love for trains. I enjoy traveling in train than anything else. Now my next aim is Indian trains. I have never been to India but i will one day. I have always been fascinated by the Indian trains because i'm tired of the electric trains. The sound of the long journey trains, the crowded station with red shirt porters, the compartments, the open aisles where u can stand and enjoy the scenaries..are something that i look forward to. If i'm lucky i might witness some clichéd railway scenes where the boy and girl chases an already moving train with villains chasing behind them :p And Oh Yeah, how could i forget the train signature dance by Sharukh in Chaiya..Chaiya!

4) This one is a dream which i badly want to materialise one day..meeting my all time favourite actress Shalini and the man with Magic fingers A.R.Rahman. I have been nurturing this dream for long only in vain. And i badly want to attend Rahman's concert one day. So far i have never attended any concert (i know it's pathetic) but i would be more than exhilarated to attend if it's a A.R.Rahman's concert featuring Sadhana Sargam :-)

5) Well this one isn't in my hands but if i ever have an option i would prefer a boyfriend who sings well and has learned proper music ( not the one who kills you by some crap singing). NO MORE DETAIL ;-p

6) I want to work in a magazine. It doesn't matter what job i'm given as long as i answer "oh, i'm working in a magazine" when people ask what i'm into. This one is quite impossible but again,.it's just a dream..no harm!

7) I want to buy a bookshop for my dad and make him the proud owner of the shop (No, this time around with my money, not his). I have a penchant for book shops so when my dad retires i want him to run a bookshop. And i have no qualms of taking care of the cash-register once in a while:p

8) I want to build a cinema in my place as i'm a movie buff. My place was in need of a proper cinema when i developed this wonderful and fruitful mission. But to my great disappointment somebody has just inaugurated a new cinema crashing my dream. But if it doesn't make profit, i still have some chance, don't i?

9) i do have one urupadiyana (beneficent) dream too. I want to celebrate my birthday with the less fortunate and special kids (see i'm not that bad after all). All this while, i was too young to do that, but next year i'd be a working lady , so i can realise this dream with my money i hope.

10) This is the most insensible, silly,absurd dream one can ever have. But come on it's me..what do you expect..Well the dream is ...dancing in middle of a lavender farm. Well, i told before that i'm a movie buff who kills time with Bollywood and Kollywood:p

So, what's yours?

Free at Last!

Finally i'm free. I have just finished my last (and also the only) paper.It was a nightmare. I have never had a cognitively challenging paper as this ever. The moment i got hold of the test paper, i died. As usual the vivid images of pages of my text book were popping in but not the points that i want. I have always hated it when i can see the page and fonts so vividly in my mind but not the exact sentence structure. I would be trying to zoom in on the fonts only in vain. So, half way through i just gave up and started scribbling whatever i can think of regardless whether it makes sense. So, that's how my exam went on but who cares, it's over and this is time to celebrate.

Did i just said "time to celebrate"? hmmm..well what i wanted to rattle about is not about celebration and not about my exam either. Well, something has been bugging me lately and so i have decided to blog about it. Childhood is the time you do the most insensible thing and pass the blame as "i was just a child walking around with a wet nappy". Well, i don't know about others but as a kid i have got into a lot of troubles and had been a troublemaker to some people too. But i have always been a deft person when it comes to deceiving people. I'd put up a very naive did-she-do-that-i-don't-think-so look and people has always believed me. And at times, i badly wanted those around me to take note of my mischievousness and reprimand me. In other words, i was a selective attention seeker :p.

Well, believe me when i say i had suicide tendencies when i was a kid (now you know the rationale of the picture above) and i always wanted my family especially my parents to note that. But alas, nobody ever realized it and i faked my suicidal attempts in vain. Whenever somebody rejects my little requests i'd lock myself up in my room and cry as loud as i could. If there's no response i'd 'attempt' suicide! I would take the VHS tape cleaning liquid, open the cap, lie on the floor like a nailed Jesus and put the liquid next to my head and the cap in another hand. So basically the idea was that when people break the door and come in they'd be shocked to find me 'fainted' or 'dead' on the floor :p. But nobody bothered to break the door and come in to save me. NEVER!! SO i would wait for maximum ten minutes and when i realise that nobody was really bothered i'd get up ,put the bottle back for my next attempt. I think this went on till i run out of the liquid. Thank god that i never attempted to taste that thing. And god only knows from where i got that temptation. Too much of tamil movies i guess:p

P/S- Found a blog about somebody's childhood crush and since there is no crush to rattle about, i rattled about "CRASHING" !!

PPS- Sorry about the errors (if there is any) as i'm writing this in between my movie time- HARRY POTTER

Exam again

My final exam is in 2 days and i'm freaking out! Whose idea was it to gauge understanding through exams? This particular unit is soo hard and could be plain boring at times. I have been trying hard to finish the revision and managed to finish it. But along the process of completing my revision i really slept well. Yesterday i slept 3 times while doing my revision. So i can recommend the unit book to any insomniacs cause it gave me a good sleep (not that i have sleeping problems. That's one thing i do without much difficulty) . Well, exam period is the time i sleep a lot, eat a lot and dream a lot (in my dream i always pass with flying colours!). The only thing i do less is STUDYING!

And my hyper excitement of going back home doesn't help much for my revision either. I have another 17 days to go back to Malaysia and my luggage bags are wide open just next to my desk. So whenever i sit with full spirit to cover the topics, my gaze slowly shifts from the book to the luggage bag and my face lights up and that's the end of my revision. Next moment, i would be sitting in front of the luggage bag trying to shove mounts of clothes into the tiny bag! So, thanks to the deadly boring subject, i have managed to pack my first bag and the second bag won't take long i guess since i'm going to start my revision again.

The Dilemma of saying NO

Exactly! I am a girl who just can't say NO. I wonder if i'm the only person who feels so. Worse still, even during instances where a NO is the best word choice, i tend to say YES. ( I wonder how acute is this Yes-syndrome). The reason is simply silly. I don't want to hurt people..period. However, my tiny brain knows very well, that saying insincere 'yes' is still going to hurt people when the truth is revealed. But i simply can't get myself saying it!It feels so hard, horrible, mean..etc.etc. Yet i do say 'No' during inevitable moments and end up feeling shit about it the whole day though i'm not to be blamed for such situations.

When somebody asks ...
"is this outfit nice for me?" i say "yes" (my mind-voice : you look deformed in this outfit)
" you like this dish right" i say "yes" (mind-voice:I rather fast whole day)
" Can we meet up this weekend?" i say "yes"(mind-voice: you're the last person i wanna meet)
"Did you miss me?" i say "hmmm.. may be a bit" (mind-voice: NOT AT ALL!!)

The list goes on.That's how severe my problem is. The lump felt in the heart when saying no is a torture which torments me endlessly. And so often, i'm caught in awkward situations thanks to my "Yes Syndrome". But i never seem to learn from past mistakes :p

I have just said "No" to someone and the shit feeling is hounding me . When will i learn to speak my mind? When will i learn to say No without feeling guilty..hm..hmm

Boyfriends Get a Life!

This post is not mockering any boyfriends dead or alive. If you are not happy with this post..well i can't do anything. All you can do is just try to accept the prevailing truth:p

I think boyfriends often pamper their girlfriends too much to the extent it annoys the others who look at them. I have always been against the notion that boyfriends should carry the girlfriends shopping bags. Come on, if she can afford to shop that much then she should be able to carry it. Why buy things that you can't carry. Worse still, sometimes all that they (the girlfriends) buy is a tiny thing which comes in a little bag and still they need the boyfriend to carry that. Well, some would argue that it's gentlemanly thing to do and letting a girl carrying stuff is not cool. But i don't know..i just plainly detest such thing. It annoys me endlessly to see such pampered girls.

And what's worser than that, is boyfriends carrying girl's handbag!!Is she so fragile where she can't even carry her own handbag? Imagine my horror when i see guys carrying GUESS handbags (that's when their girlfriends were not around)!Yesterday when i was coming back from my grocery shopping (yeah, i was carrying my own stuff) i walked past Uni and uni was kind of busy as people just finished their lectures and were thronging from the classes. That's when i spotted this young lovey-dovey couple who seemed to have come out from the most enjoyable lecture ever as they were so happily coming out from the class holding hands.

But to my horror, the guy was carrying both his and the girl's bag and the girl was happily (yeah of course she would be happy, wouldn't she) strolling next to him. And poor guy, one hand clutched firmly with her fingers and another carrying her bag and his bag slinging over his shoulder. Looking at him the very first thing that came to my mind was "poor guy, what would he do if his nose (or any part) gets itchy?" You can pamper your girlfriend but not to the extent of not letting her carry her own school bag!

P/S- I know people who read this post would think i'm venting my 'stomach-burning' on the girl because i was walking alone after shopping carrying my own bags and there she was with her boyfriend carrying her not-so-heavy (no uni girl carries heavy bag) school bag. Well, that could be partly true:p

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Warning!!: This post is not a review of the Sharukh Khan starrer Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (never say goodbye).

I hate saying goodbye. I hate pretending not missing someone. I hate pretending missing someone when actually you don't bother about the person. And above all, i don't know how to react when i'm saying goodbye. Am i supposed to hide my feelings and put up a composed look or should i be vocal on my feelings? However, since i'm a very inexpressive and less articulate person when it comes to emotions, i'm often mistaken. That's why i hate saying goodbye. The lump and hollow that inundates you the moment you utter those words are so unbearable. That's why i hate saying goodbye.

Why am i rattling about goodbye? That's because i have just bid farewell to my working place. I have been working as a part-time waitress for almost 18 months in the restaurant and today i have ended my connection with the restaurant, a step towards my preparation of going back to Malaysia for good. That's the place where i felt at home, met people from home country, feasted on Malaysian food and learned new recipes and more importantly earned to support my ever growing love for shopping. I wouldn't say that's the best place to work at but that's the place where i feel some kind of bond which has never let me quit though i badly wanted to. I have had a lot of bad and bitter memories associated with that place but today when i cast my mind back to the old memories of working there, bitter memories seems to be too trivial to be mentioned.

My first day of working is still vivid in my mind. All my life, i have never worked hard and being a teacher student i never thought that i would be working in a restaurant. But i wanted to try.I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to do something which i would never do in Malaysia. But my first day was indeed horrid! I don't know what made me to think that waitresses only serve food and take order. So when i was asked to mop, vacuum the whole restaurant i was petrified! the moment my boss gave me a bucket full of water and asked me to wipe the tables, i felt like crying. I was cursing myself for have chosen to work as waitress and made a vow not to work there anymore. And to my horror, it was super busy on that day and i was the only staff working. When i came back home, and told my housemates about my horror experience, i bet they would have noticed tinge of tears in my eyes. Still the next day, i went to work expecting more challenge and i don't know how i started enjoying the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. And now with a heavy heart i have quitted and have said "goodbye" to my bosses, the staffs and yeah the delicious food. The next time i report for work, i'm going to have 30-40 students in front of me looking at me blankly and again another teary moment will start...

Auntie..Oops Hottie

Today after class i was walking back home preoccupied with my impending presentation till i notice an old lady ( i bet she would be ferocious at me for calling her 'old-lady'). Well what's so special about her that i'm blogging about her is that she is a 50 something hot-lady-wannabe-auntie or should i add 'desperately' ?

She was dressed in a short skirt and a sleeveless blouse ( and yeah..she had saggy arms ) and ...STILETTOS!!.It was so hilarious to see her struggling to walk with her super stilettos that i thought of giving her a walking stick . Knowing that she has i-might-trip-anytime look, that auntie had the courage to swing while walking (or was she struggling to that extent??) And once she came closer, i had a hard time finding her face beneath the inched make-up. And pity the lady,the hot weather was not helping much as her eyeshadow colours had melted and were forming a colour which i don't think has a name yet. But what was very amazing about her that with THAT make-up and THAT walk she still managed a confident look . In fact, when she walked pass me she gave me a very condescending look! I think she is the most confident person that i have ever seen and also the most unbearable wannabe !

I won a lottery??!!

I wish i had!I'm seriously getting annoyed with the constant e-mails that i am getting saying that i have won few lotteries (Notice LOTTERIES) though secretly i wish i had. And it's so strange that i have won numerous lotteries! The latest e-mail that i have got is from CHEVRON oil and petroleum who claimed that i have won US 1 million Dollars(!). And what is so strange is that the mail comes with detailed information such as the winning number, reference number, batch number and even the claims manager's details! But nothing is mentioned regarding the selection of the winners.

While that is US Dollars, it appears that i have also won some great deal of UK currency!! Well, according this Britain Lottery Group, my e-mail address has been picked as a winner of a lump sum pay out of £891,934.00 pounds sterling!Why me of all people? (or are they sending to all) How do they know that i'm seriously broke and cursing Malaysia government every single day for delaying my allowance?

Not enough with that, i received another silly e-mail from an African guy. According to him , he is a fund manager and has been responsible in managing funds of A. And recently, A was killed in a flight crash in South Africa (may be i should investigate that) and this guy is having problem in transferring the funds to the family members as none of the inheritors have come forward claiming his money. So, now apparently he needs to 'save' the fund from being sent the unclaimed funds department.And to prevent this he has come up with a 'brilliant' idea where he has asked to me to be his partner!! (obviously business partner) Apparently he is taking 45% of the fund, another 45% FOR ME and God only knows about the balance 10%. Why am i being targeted as the butt of your silly pranks?

Whatever it is, if the government is not banking in the allowance in a week's time, i might be sending reply to one of these mails, investigating whether they really intend to reward me :p Koddukra theivam e-maile pichukkuttu kodukkum:p

Dolphin Watching

Today we had an excursion to Port Stephens where we had heaps of fun watching the dolphins swimming and jumping around. Unlike last year, the dolphins were quite inactive and they were lazily swimming around and seemed not be bothered by us who were going 'ah' and 'uh' looking at them. Last year, we had a group of tourists from India with us on the deck together and i still remember how the kids as well as the grown ups were elated upon looking at the dolphins. While others were shouting 'look here ..and there" this group nick named Dolphins as Dolly!! And one of the boy was shouting "Dolly..Dolly inge vaa (Come here). He was so excited that he was conversing with the Dolphin! Wonder what they(the dolphins) were thinking at the moment:p It didn't really strike me until i played back the video that i took during that time, where a loud voice was yelling "Dolly...Dolly Inga vaa!!". Whenever i look at dolphins, the boy's voice will be playing in my mind and thus to honour him , I have named the dolphin miniature that i have bought today as DOLLY!

Well back to the excursion, though it was appeared rather sunny where we had to apply ample of sunscreen, after sometime it started pouring !!(Australian weather is known for its craziness). So we spent hours walking around in the rain as the bus was parked somewhere far and we were not supposed to enter the bus before the time. And i still need to catch up with sleep!!

Are u thinking what i am thinking?

Situation 1: You are in an important meeting where you are expected to give some valuable opinions and points with few others. Each of you is expected to voice out your opinion and you sit there squeezing your brain to come out with one apposite opinion which will make heads turn towards you. And after some intensive thinking something strikes you..something that you think very pertinent for the topic being discussed. You construct your viewpoints and wait for THE moment. And when the right opportunity arrives, you open your mouth and somebody from behind you say out the exact thing that you wanted to say word by word including the key words. Heads do turn but not towards you. How would you feel?

Well, that's exactly what happened to me today. We had two visiting lectures from Malaysia who wanted to know how well we are coping in Australia and our valuable opinions regarding the teaching and learning here in comparison to that of Malaysia. All of us were expected to say something. As someone started rolling the ball, i was preparing my opinion and opened my mouth only to realise that it wasn't my voice! My bestie was saying the exact thing that i wanted to say! I was so dumbstruck that it took me a while to realise that everybody else had said something on their part. And there i was squeezing my already-drained-brain for another point. And the tiny brain didn't let me down again and i got another 'good' point to say aloud and was waiting for THE time again when another friend who was next to me said the exact thing!! What else could i do? I just gave up. I think when i am thinking people can see my ideas in the bubble above my head. For once, i got something good to say and i wasted it by waiting for THE time. And to make things worst, while i was thinking i have escaped the session without giving any opinion and exiting the room, the visiting lecturer so happened to see me (why me..of all 23 people) and asked "you didn't speak, did you". "Why are you asking when you already know that i didn't" Well i couldn't say that aloud, could i. So as usual i gave an imbecilic smile and walked away. I wish i could have sinked through the floor at the moment.

Situation 2 : You badly dread being somewhere and listening to someone but you could not evade it. So you go to the place, sit there and listen. And the person who enjoys his own talk than anything else in the world, talks and talks till he totally forgets that he has been talking beyond time. And you are still there, restless, fidgeting and cursing him. At one time the Bhumadevi in you withdraws and you start making face, discomfort look and occasionally look at your watch whenever the person looks at you. Alas, all in vain...he never gets what you are thinking.

Well, that happened to me too. I had to attend this thesis presentation of a multilingual Canadian guy who just enjoyed talking too much. At one point, nobody was really paying attention but him. But the poor guy didn't realise (or chose not to realise) till the audience one by one started running away..literally. And whenever he looked at me i pretended looking at my watch (yeah..i had a watch) to the extent of lifting my wrist up and looking at the watch. May be the whole class would have noticed except him. But he couldn't care less!

Well, earlier i had a situation where people were reading whatever running across my mind and here was another guy who couldn't understand the most clearest clue of all!! It's just so annoying when people read you when you don't want them to and chose not to read you when u want them to...



P/S- As i'm writing this i am super duper excited that i'm confirmed to go back home in exactly 1 month time. Hurray!!

Another Test

I'm nearing semester end and so examinations and assignments are inevitable. So here i am trying to finish my slides for tomorrow's classroom test by blogging??!! I hate it most when the lecturer keep the test details under wrap. Come on . At least tell us how many questions are there? or may be the first question :p I think i have been studying for tooooo long now that i feel puking at the very sight of exam papers. And it's so depressing that once i graduate, my life is going to revolve around examination papers, report cards, marks and PTA meetings..eeewww.. I seriously need a break

P/S- I know this post seriously contradicts with my previous post in which i went gaga over the noble profession of teaching. Well, that was right after watching the movie..so i was emotionally disturbed at that moment and now when i sit to study for the impending test, the reality strikes me..he..he

Taare Zameen Par (Stars on Earth)

I have just finished this awesome movie and i must say it's a truly fantabolous movie. I can't remember when was the last time i ever cried watching a movie. I cried buckets watching this movie..not only in the ending but throughout the movie. TZ is a must watch movie for teachers as well as parents.

As a teacher to be i do know about the existence of dyslexic kids and we were taught on how to handle and educate such kids. But printed papers and theories never show the emotional turmoil of the kids and their parents. Similarly, i have never realised how depressing it would be for the dyslexic kids to be not able to write and read like any other children and at the same time handle the disgusting remarks and ridicules slammed on them. The public humiliation is nothing compared to the disparaging remarks that they receive from their family. In this movie, the boy is seen as a lazy duffer by his own parents and all they can think to help the poor kid is sending him to a boarding school. And life becomes hell for him in the boarding school till one wonderful teacher (Aamir khan) walks in like an angel in the kid's life. Once a dyslexic kid himself, Aamir understands the kid's problem and helps him out.

As Aamir points out in the movie, nowadays parents' aspiration on their children is for them to compete and succeed in the academic realm. Nobody bothers about the kids' world anymore. We invade children's world and impose our way of living: competitiveness, achievement, and accomplishment on them. We fail to understand that kids have their own world in which competing and getting 100% is nothing to be proud of. We are stealing the childhood away from them and pulling them into the adulthood so hastily that most of the children are deprived of their precious childhood. When i was a kid, i played in dirty mud, fishing tadpoles in drains, climbed trees, played cricket, hide and seek, flew kites, stole fruits and fell down and scratched my knees countless times. But my nieces and nephews are playing cybergames, play see-saw in playgrounds and going to nursery school when they are still babbling! Aren't we snatching their childhood away from them?

Anyways back to the movie, I think every teacher should watch this movie and derive some inspiration from Aamir. I don't know if Aamir is a great actor (but he is a good actor) but he is a great teacher in this movie. Now i can't wait to start teaching and make some differences :-)

Women's language

People (usually men) say women's hearts are as deep as the sea. And that we mean what we didn't say and we say what we didn't mean :p On the superficial level it seems like just another stereotyped comment hurled at us. But usually such comments do bear some relevance to women's behaviors i guess. As for me, i have said 'no' many times when what i wanted to say was a "yes". And why did i do that? I think when we (okay no generalisation) I ,say no i expect the person to read between the lines and i expect the person to understand that i'm just too egoistical to say 'Yes". Ahh..people don't understand how difficult it is to be a women...confusing 'man'kind is not an easy job but we are fairing well i guess ;-) Just few tips..for women (how to say it) and man(how to read between lines)

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

We need... = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk... = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

In response to What’s wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot!

Learning another language??

I just came back from another linguistic class and the linguistic classes never cease to amaze me. I have never really noticed that language acquisition is a very unique process. We utter words which have never been taught to us;We construct grammar on our own prior to the formal instruction and we create our own words!! God has really given us a superb computer in our mind.

I can't remember how i learned 3 languages in 20 years. Though Tamil is my mother tongue, learning a language which has 247 sounds with some exceptions where same sound occurs for 3 letters should have never been easy. But i managed!Now when i think back about it, i can't remember how i knew which /n/ sound occurs for a particular word. It just happened!May be the practice or may be i wanted to prevent my knuckles from reddening!

Learning to write Malay could still be attributed to the school factor but learning the spoken language?? I have no idea. I grew up surrounded by Tamil speaking people and Tamil medium school but when i enrolled for my secondary education in a Malay school, the language came so easily! and Nowadays when my friends ask me on my Malay and English acquisition, i just don't know what to say. I can't retrieve the mental image of learning a language. It appears sooo vague and now when i attempt to learn another language it seems so impossible. It just can't stick to the brain. The brain which astonishingly supported my multiple language learning 15-20 years ago is now failing me.At the age when i didn't know what learning is, learning came so easily and today when i have learned the language learning theories and processes, language learning could never be tougher. Human brain is simply superb . Ok now i have rattled so much that i can't rattle anymore. I can't be blamed..it's the linguistic class :p

Overprotectiveness

How often do we realise that we are overprotective of somebody? well, not that often i guess. As far as i am concerned, i have always brushed the thought that i could be over protective at times. Hitherto, i have never really attributed my weirdest behaviour to the over protectiveness till very recently. And believe me.. Over protective people often attribute immense love as their rationale for behaving in such way till it hits them..literally.

I am very closely blood related to A. A and I share a very beautiful relationship but we are not open about the skeleton in our cupboard and our itsy bitsy affairs. Whenever somebody tries to emotionally approach or attracts A, i'll start distancing myself from the person and form negative opinions about the person even if they have never done any harm to me. But i rarely confront A and try to coax A to spill his/her opinion of that person. And so far the opinions have sided me. My rationale for doing this... A deserves someone better and this isn't the right time.

Again recently, B who is a close friend of mine showed interest in A (of course A doesn't know this) and started inquiring about A. Eventually B revealed that he/she is indeed interested in A and will never give up on him/her for which i answered NO Way! And I lied to B that A has already found someone (which is obviously nonsense). And B was adamant that he/she will talk to A someday about it and said that i can't 'save' A forever from her/him.

Thinking about it, i realise actually it isn't my over protectiveness towards A that provoke such behaviour but my jealousy of B!! I know A is a wonderful person who is an emblem of my ideal ehem..ehem. and it's SO Difficult to see such traits in people nowadays and i just can't bear the thought that my close friend could get A kinda person in his/her life whereas i'm having difficulty in finding such person out there because A is a brother/sister!!

Happy Deepavali

Happy Deepavali all.
This is my second Deepavali celebration far from my dearest family and close friends. But, celebrating Deepavali on my own is kinda of exciting as well as i had to take care of everything whereas when i was at home mum used to take care of everything from cleaning to cooking. And she was surprised to know that i have started cooking and have even attempted cooking mutton curry!
Hopefully, next year i'll be a more responsible daughter lending a hand in Deepavali preparation. And can't wait for that.

I'm hosting a Deepavali Open House on Wednesday and hopefully it'll be successful.

My favourite Card

I had a sweet surprise today. This card above is very special and will always be close to my heart. This is the Deepavali Greetings that my dad has sent from Malaysia :) As far as i know dad has never sent any cards to anybody. Even when we were still small (i don't want to say illiterate) mum used to write greetings for our friends and relatives. But i have never seen dad doing it. This is my second Deepavali far from home but this is the very first time dad is sending me a card. He neither send me a card for my 21st birthday nor last Deepavali. May be that was because my sister was still around and she send me a card on behalf of my parents. But this time, dad wrote the card himself, and posted it on his own which is quite an achievement, knowing my dad's nature. If by any chance my siblings get to know this, sparks of jealousy will attack Sydney :P. Thanks ayya and I miss u.

A woman's prayer

Dear Lord:

So far today, I am doing all right.

I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent.

I have not whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate.

However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that.

P/S- We are not that bad. Are we? :p

Deepavali Carnival

Well, two days ago i attended the Deepavali carnival in Sydney Olympic Park. I have been wanting to attend it eversince i came to know about it. So took a day off from my waitressing job and went there. We (my friend and I) arrived there around 5pm and was kind of shocked to see such a crowd. A throng of 6000 of people were expected but the overflowing crowd was more than that i guess.
Our first aim was to look at the latest Indian traditional outfits. Eversince, i noticed few celebrities wearing the Patiala Salwar and Anarkalli suites, i was agog with curiosity wanting to see how it looks like.And it was a sheer disappointment to see all out-dated punjabi suites there. Imagine seeing suites which were fashionable in Malaysia 4 years ago, in that carnival! I couldn't see one Punjabi suite which interest me. Those were the suites which i rejected 3 years ago! I seriously pity those people who were lured into believing that they were actually 2008's fashion.
Then we went to another interesting section which was the food stalls area. Well, it was sooo crowded and we managed to grab a Biryani, Samosa and Jilebi. The food was not bad though. We were sitting on the field and enjoying our meal till we realised that there was a cultural show. So i took my plate (with 3 jilebis) and fought our best to get a spot in the crowd. Everything was going fine till the Bangra started. People went wild and was crashing the security border and dancing hysterically. And the security officers were looking helplessly. Though, it was nice to see people shaking their hips for the Bhangras, it was quite agitating that people were so inconsiderate that they blocked our view. Despite the ladies' request, the guys kept on dancing leaving only their butt to be seen.
And exactly at 8pm the Ravana's dummy was burnt and the pinnacle of the carnival was the fireworks display. It was 1o minutes-so show which was so beautiful and colourful that i was awestruck. I was just hoping that it shouldn't end. So,... it was a spectacular show.

p/s: All the while watching the show i was holding the jillebi plate with one hand (standing) that left me such a pain that i can't lift my hand for hours

Prelude for Deepavali

I'm just back from the Deepavali Carnival in Sydney Olympic Park. Will post the details and pictures tomorrow:)

I'm an addict!!

I have just discovered a great truth about me. I'm an addict!I'm a serious internet addict and i know i'm not alone. Or else what am i doing here at 6am in the morning straight from my bed without brushing my teeth and not even taking my bath? Aren't I supposed to be working on my assignment? Shouldn't i be browsing for materials for the pending assignment than searching for a picture to be put in my blog?
But i know internet addiction among people is getting serious. Not a single day passes without me logging in facebook, blogspot, friendster,orkut..etc. And hitting the check mail icon again and again though it says " no new message" is just asinine. At the end of the day, when i sit and reflect (sitting in front of the laptop) on what i have done or 'accomplished' by browsing net that day, the result just amazes me. I can spend hours on net without really doing anything fruitful. Yet i go to bed feeling very tired (!?) and thinking what i can do the next day (websites to visit) and worst of all i scribble it next to my laptop before i go to bed. I wish i have the same enthusiasm for other things in my life:p

And here is a vignette of internet addiction:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN...

• Your bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

• You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

• All of your friends have an @ in their names.

• You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Excite.

• You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

• Your phone bill is delivered in a box.

• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

• The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

• You forget what year it is.

• You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

Busy and Busy

The busy and hectic week is slowly cropping up with Deepavali, assignments and presentation just around the corner. Unlike last year, I'm really excited about this year Deepavali and have taken greater interest in grooming myself as well as organising the party. At the same time, the very thought of the assignment which dues in 2 weeks time often glides by and snatches away the pleasure of planning for parties. Well, i have decided not to let assignments to spoil my day and i'm going ahead with planning my Deepavali. Since this is my last year of celebrating Deepavali in Sydney something memorable needs to be done.
On Sunday i am attending the Deepavali Carnival ( I miss the Deepavali Carnival in KL, Malaysia where i had a blast). Then the biscuit-making session starts on Tuesday as one of my friend has already promised to lend a hand.
Actually i wanted to blog about something and as i started writing i have deviated and started rambling. So i need a break to recollect my idea.

Dreamworld anyone?

Ever wondered what your dreams mean? I'm not the type of person who dreams while sleeping (day dreams are not included). Fortunately, i go to deep sleep and rarely dream. Few months ago i had a very disturbing dream which haunted me for a few days. Hitherto, none of my dreams have come true.Well, back to my dream, i dreamt somebody was choking me to death and warning me that somebody (name is deleted) wants to kill me. I woke up that night feeling chilled and puzzled. And i spent following days with trepidation. But nothing happened though.

Just as i was surfing i stumbled across an analysis of dreams which interested me. According to the website, when one dreams of an animal usually the dream reflects on the person's personality whereas when you dream about your vehicle it symbolizes the direction that you are heading to in your life and also your body.

Now the analysis of my dream ( too late though). Dreams pertaining to death, funeral and threats symbolise change (??!!) The writer even warns that death dreams should not be ignored as they convey big changes ( couldn't exactly remember the changes that have occurred post-dream). And actually death dreams sometimes have direct meaning ..DEATH. So, the next time when you dream about death, try to settle whatever in pending because you'll never know what's next...

Another one

One more!!

Will i be able to tell you?

Crumbled papers

Of poems about you

Written with words

That will never come true

Written in ink

That will never fade away

The hopeful words

I wish I could say

Hands still shaking

As I continue to write

Scribbled letters

Of black and white

Eager to tell you

How I feel

**Adapted

Where do the burger and fries go to?

I remember i read somewhere about the embarrassing moment of a woman who was given a courtesy seat in the bus..thanks to her burgers and fries:p

A woman's wish

I wish i have the magical well! :p

Types of love

Bad Mood?

How often do we realise that our aura affects people around us? Aura and mood are infectious as a happy person lights up the entire environment and vice versa. So, one can't blame the other of hypocrisy if the person fakes his or her happiness for the sake of people around him or her. How much does it cost to sacrifice your feelings for others especially when you know you are spoiling the fun by showing your discomfort? Life will not be nice and fun if everybody started snapping at each other for itsy-bitsy things. One who controls the emotion is the intelligent one. I just took a new resolution : Negative feelings are not to be shared but positive feelings are.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Tomorrow is ayya's 55th birthday. I can't believe that he has reached 55. It's saddening to think that he is going to celebrate his birthday with none of his children next to him. But hopefully next year i'll be able to compensate for my absence.
I have always been a daddy's gal. I'm the typical my-dad-knows-all girl who looks up to my dad on anything and everything. Hitherto, my dad has been the most important person in my life and i'm sure he'll always be. And my ultimate aim and what i would consider as an achievement is when i make my dad proud. Since i was a kid, i used to compete with my siblings to gain recognition from my dad. When he says anything good about me, i'll spend the whole day replaying his words and gestures on my visual screen. Even up to know, the sense of accomplishment that enfolds me whenever he expresses he says he's proud of me, is indescribable.
I would never have come here (sydney),had it not been for him. While my mum and brother were not happy with me attending the interview for this course ( i had to travel far to attend the interview and dad was working and he couldn't take leave), dad didn't say a word against my wish. He didn't even ask if i wanted to attend the interview. When my mum was on phone informing about the interview, all that dad said was " i have booked a cab, accompany her ok?". He had tremendous confident in me that he encouraged me to give it a try. And eventually when i was selected, he told me it wasn't a fluky success and i deserved it.
He has never said he loves me but i know he does. And i have never declared my love for him either. Because when you love someone too much, you just can't get a word to express that feeling. Gestures and expressions are eloquent reminders of love and care.So..ayya Happy Birthday! I love you and I miss u!

Walking Down Memory Lane... Part 2 ....

Coming soon..i'm so tied up with my assignment that i hardly find time to write on it. And this time, since Deepavali is fast approaching, it's going to be on one of my funniest Deepavali moment:p

Vaaranam Aayiram Mp3

The most awaited soundtrackof 2008 is just out. The audio launch looked very grand indeed. However, personally i'm not much impressed with the way the songs have shaped up. Quite disappointing, as this combo rocked in their earlier ventures (may be i should listen to them again and again and after a while they will grow on me). The songs sound too familiar (Pachaikilli Muthusaram and VV). May be the combo wanted to maintain the same 'touch'. However, i still liked the Adiye Kolluthe, track sung by Karthik. The song is an indianised rock metal which instantly clicks on you. Yet it's still too early to comment on the songs and sometimes the beauty of the song is enhanced by the visualisation and Gautham's earlier ventures never disappoint in that aspect ..so waiting for the release of the movie.